Ganassi sends a message... here's one back

Look out Juan, the honeymoon is apparently over. Chip Ganassi insisted he was serious about his "Chase or Bust" comments adding, “It’s Chase or bust, and in a macro-sense I mean it,” Ganassi said. “Yes, it’s a lot of pressure, but that’s what this business is about. We’re not in the Wizard of Oz, you know.”

You might not be in Kansas anymore, but maybe Chip should take a look at where his organizations sits in the hierarchy of successful Cup teams.

i.e. It's not on the map.

Equipment is everything and Ganassi is telling JPM to put up or shut up? Seems a little backwards to me, but hey ok, whatever floats your boat. I'm sure all the top tier free agents are just dying to come race for you.

Predictions for '08

Who will win the title? Or make the Chase? Heck if I know, I'll let the smart guys take those ones. I'd prefer to concentrate on the things that really matter; like...

1. Who will be the biggest name to MISS the Chase?
2. Who's gonna be the first to get in a post race fight?
3. Who's gonna lose their ride mid season?

You know, stuff like that. So let's get crackin shall we.

1. Denny Hamlin & Kyle Busch of JGR will miss the Chase

2. Kyle Busch vs Kurt Busch @ Bristol (that would be awesome in a geek fight sorta way)

3. Dale Jarret (ha ha, ok so that's cheatin), seriously I'm gonna guess David Ragan, dude just isn't very good.

Gordon to Host Live with Regis and Kelly

On January 18th, Jeff will Co-Host Live with Regis and Kelly. This reminds me of the last time Jeff was on a national tv show. Do you remember? Yep, that's right, it was Star Search!

Jeff was about 12 and he was singing I'm a little tea pot. How did he not win that thing?

Oh yeah I forgot, the show switched the format away from most total votes through all the rounds and instead reset the points after each performance, something about making it more exciting. Can't remember exactly, been such a long time, besides it was such a crazy publicity stunt that I'm sure it'll never be tried again.

Uhh Doh!

Bobsledding event gains importance

Geoff Bodine (marketing genius) has convinced NASCAR officials to make his annual bobsledding race a points race for the Cup Series.

"I am so excited that I can contribute to the sport, well you know in addition to driving the pace car."

Competitors were a little worried about fairness seeing as Hendrick Motorsports has been testing their sleds for months in anticipation that this could happen. "Seems like HMS is always one leg up on everyone" pouted one unamed driver (rhymes with genseth).

Dakar Rally Cancelled

Robby Gordon will not be able to blame a poor performance in Daytona on a lack of testing anymore. The Dakar Rally has been cancelled by the threat of terrorist attack.

Gordon believes this to be the plot of one of his NASCAR peers, specifically Jeff Gordon. "Jeff has always been jealous of my abilities and he can't stand to see me have success in an event he's too much of a wuss to enter. I just can't believe he went to these lengths to keep me from victory, I mean c'mon, staging a terrorist threat? That's a bit extreme."

But Robby, there have actually been two terrorist attacks in the region recently. To which he added, "convenient, don't you think?"

Browns trade Derek Anderson...

for four wins?

Yep, in an unprecedented transaction, the Browns in a desperate move to get into the post season have followed NASCAR's lead and traded starting QB Derek Anderson to the the Kansas City Chiefs for all four of their wins this year. This leaves the Browns with an adjusted record of 14-2 and the Chiefs a historic 0-16. And to think we spent all year wondering if dolphins would go winless when the Chiefs come out of nowhere to nab the dubious distinction.

Of course this trade causes a couple of problems, it knocks the Steelers out of the playoffs who are already out of the playoffs due to their loss to the Jags. And leaves Browns fans wondering, hey where's our home playoff game?

When the commissioner was asked what prompted the move he said, "well, we've been watching NASCAR's meteoric rise in popularity and thought we should do business more like those guys."

In response to how the NFL would deal with the logistical problems this trade created he said "We've got a call in to Brian France to ask what they would do, but he hasn't responded yet"

So, do you think its silly for NASCAR teams to be able to "give away" their points yet? I do.

BDR to transfer all owner points to Villeneuve

In response to Kurt Busch transferring his owner points to Sam Hornish Jr. Bill Davis Racing (BDR) has decided to transfer all the owner points from all of its cup driver to Jaques Villeneuve for 2008.

At the press release Jaques said; "wow, what a team, I am so honored my teammates would do this to help me hit the ground running in the Cup series."

He was then asked; "but Jaques, all those points still don't add up to enough to get you in the top 35 for the first five races, so what is the benefit of this move?"

"Oh, well, umm" was all he could mutter.

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Ok, so back to reality... this didn't actually happen, but doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility does it? NASCAR has really got to look at this Top 35 thing and get it figured out.

NASCAR's Most Despised Driver Award

Once again Dale Jr. wins the most popular driver award. Boy that was hard to see comin' huh?

Here's a contest we can all sink our teeth into... NASCAR's most despised driver. This driver should be loathed by fans, teamates, peers and owners. Let's check out the finalists,

Juan Pablo Montoya -
Move or be moved seemed to be JPM's mantra in 07.
Robby Gordon -
Person most guys would least like to see in their rearview.
Kyle Busch -
How can someone this dopey lookin be so cocky?
Jeff Gordon -
No middle ground here, you either love Jeff or you hate him.
Tony Stewart -
"Hey it's only a dumbass move if I'm not the one makin it". Problem... all to often you are.


And the winner is...

Juan Pablo Montoya. First he's one of 'dem foreigners that gets folks worried about the sport. Second, he thinks he owns the track and he's just not quite good enough for that.

Congrats Mr. Montoya, lets see if you can keep pissing them off in 2008 and defend your title!